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Kindergarten Cop is a 1990 film directed by Ivan Reitman.


Ahnuld Quotes for the Ages Edit

  • Detective John Kimble: We're going to play a wonderful game called...”Who is my daddy and what does he do?"
  • Detective John Kimble: I'm a cop you idiot!


Detective John Kimble: Oh, excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble... [racks shotgun] and I love my car!


Detective John Kimble: I have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor!


Detective John Kimble: SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!


  • Detective John Kimble: [Holding fat girl in the air] Are these all your lunches?
    [Girl shakes his head]
    Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
    [Girl nods]
    Detective John Kimble: STOP IT! [drops fat girl]


Detective John Kimble: Stop whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline. Well, I've got news for you. You are mine now. You belong to me.


Detective John Kimble: Stephen, take your toy back to the carpet and sit down.
Stephen: I'm not a policeman, I'm a princess!
Detective John Kimble: Take your toy back to the carpet!
Stephen: [softly] I'm not policeman, I'm princess.
Detective John Kimble: TAKE IT BACK!


Detective John Kimble: [to an insubordinate child] If you don't stop screwing around back there, this is what I'm gonna do with you [he snaps pencil in two with his thumb. The kid sits back, wide-eyed]


Detective John Kimble: You take over tomorrow.
Phoebe O'Hara: And blow our cover? Can't do it.
Detective John Kimble: They're horrible. They're like little terrorists.


Detective John Kimble: You should be reading stories about bears who go shopping!


Detective John Kimble: You hit a kid, I hit you.